Plenty of people are asking the same question. What is wrong with kids growing up without fathers? The thing that a lot of these people miss is a fathers point of view. I am going to throw my opinion into the ring here on Why Children Need their Fathers when growing up?
How often do you hear the term deadbeat dad, or absentee father or nobodaddy? If you don’t hear the term you see the concept portrayed on almost every TV sitcom, advertisement or movie.
Like it or not children need the fathers when growing up. Children will always need their fathers.
No amount of girl power, charity fundraising, pink or one-sided divorce decisions are every going to change the universal need to balance masculine and feminine.
The concept of manhood has been lost for decades now which is just one of the symptoms of children growing up without fathers.
The Blame Game – If one man is bad then all fathers must be bad.
This entire conversation within the news, media and even face to face seems to be built on the premise of blaming others and shaming others. Personal responsibility and accountability is a virtue from previous generations long-lost.
Radicalized ideology once thought of as extremist has now become the acceptable practice and political correctness gone wrong has made open discussion a freedom we do not have anymore.
Criticism has become a sport and mediocrity resulted because we are all to worn down by judgment to excel at anything.
Effects to the single moms – Parenting is hard enough without creating more problems.
The bulk of single moms with relish in the challenges of raising smaller children but the effects of such a drastic life choice will not hit home until later on in their life when the children start school or grow up and leave home the woman is left with their entire identity and life purpose gone and forgotten.
All the attempts in the world to stop them from growing up or shame them into staying at home will not change the inevitable outcome that children need to grow up, separate from their parents, become independent citizens and forge out their own existence.
If not for anything else surely single moms can let go of the controls for a weekend and try to enjoy some downtime without the children. Quiet time alone will inevitably lead to some self introspection and ultimately time for some self reflection and even self-improvement. Self improvement can only be a good thing for everyone concerned.
Take the time to recharge your batteries. Get up to date with the washing/ironing if that’s your thing; take a yoga class or take a wine tour but do not waste this valuable time on Netflix binging.
Life is short and you only get out of it what you put into it.
Effects to the children later on into their adulthood
All boys need their father when growing up. Men co-operating with men starts with sons co-operating with dads. Modern civilization was built on the hard work of men co-operating with other men but unfortunately the culture we have now only puts men in competition with other men and recently also with women. Men compete with men for women and jobs. Men now also compete with women for jobs and the right to be a father.
All girls need their father when growing up. Girls will need healthy relationships with their fathers if they have any chance of ever having a reasonable marriage after they grow up.
Effects to the fathers – Grieving for your kids that you can’t see
Contrary to popular culture fathers are people too and have just as many feelings and emotions as mothers do. If all the single moms out there could imagine just how painful it would be to be separated from their children you should be able to empathize what it would be like.
If you can’t empathize you just ticked the first indicator for narcissism.
If you don’t think it would be painful, you are most probably in some sort of denial of another bigger issue.
Take the time out to discuss the effects with a childless father. They are not hard to find. When you do you will find a world of unparalleled pain, grief and shame.
Future Effects to the Marriage Institution, Population and Humanity
Divorce rates are sky-high making it normal for children to grow up in split homes. This will make marriage in the next generation even less appealing.
Marriage rates are plummeting. This leading indicator warns of things to come.
Birth rates are dropping. Less people getting married and less people having people having babies can only mean more transient relationships… how else do you explain the rise in popularity of tinder?
Male suicides continue unchecked and uncounted.
Technology is also being introduced that will only make these effects worse. Kids at school are coming home with the impression that men are not needed to have babies anymore. IVF is now an accessible choice for single women wanting to raise fatherless children.
Taxation and the government’s role
There are lots of conspiracy theorists out there that will claim the degradation of the nuclear family has been a planned and carried out by an alliance of wealthy aristocrats, government’s and gender equality radicalists to gain more power.
I will let you make up your own mind on that one.
Family courts set the new traditional family unit. The new benchmark appears to be: Children will grow up without their father and if he behaves himself, pays his taxes and complies with the government’s standard of a good public citizen he will be granted visitation every second weekend.
The divorce industry makes good money but the delicate balancing act of government is to make sure fathers are not destroyed too much to render them incapable utilities for the means of paying tax. Cue the matrix scene full of the human batteries.
Children growing up without their father have a tremendous handicap to overcome. Most people don’t reach the point of acknowledging this as a problem, let alone spending time to think of a solution.
Fear drives most people’s behaviour (and lack there of). The fear of criticism, which is something the collective has become very good at.
Unfortunately we are still a long way away from gender equality but the dream brings with it a lot of momentum towards change. True gender equality can never be attained when children systemically do not have physically and mentally healthy fathers in their lives.
I would suggest that the collective health of a civilization can be measured by the health (both physical and mental) of its male population.
Hi there, My friends call me Remy. I am a middle aged divorcee that has decided not to walk the path other people decided to set down for me. I have gained the most strength in my life from my failures. Resilience is a very powerful attribute if you can manage it, I am still building mine up but stick with me and we can forge ahead together.