This is a follow-up article to one I wrote a long time ago about the Peter Pan syndrome and the Princess syndrome. In this article I feel we need to delve into a lot more detail onto the question of When Do Guys Grow Up.
Thanks for visiting my site here we present a long-lost masculine point of view so often frowned upon today. Frown all you like but the men who build your infrastructure, generate your electricity and provide you with all those modern conveniences; know just how dependent you are.
Expectations Placed On Men
I want to challenge every one reading this article to take a good hard look at what your expectations are for a man to be considered successful in life today, leave your list below in the comments. Here is the most common list of traits people feel a man needs to exhibit to be doing it right.
- Strong, 6 foot tall, muscular, rugged but not overpowering, controlling or too masculine
- good-looking, athletic, energetic, outgoing but not the center of attention
- wealthy and self-made but not pompous, ambitious or overly-confident
- spontaneous but still stable and boring
- nice car, big house, expensive tastes but still down to earth
- giving, caring, generous, completely self-less but not a pushover
- brave but not uncontrollable
- in touch with his feelings but not emotional
It’s a very fine line to tread.
Intolerance To The Needs Of A Man
Did you notice anything missing on the list above. I will give you a hint if you missed it.
Put yourself in the shoes of such a man and imagine yourself accumulating all this wealth and then generously sharing it all, How are you going to build any sort of self-character, self-identity or self-esteem if all your success if based on the shallow happiness of others.
The happiness of others is not a good yard stick for anyone to use as a life ambition.
The needs of a man have not only become irrelevant to most parts of society but they are becoming slowly criminalized. No I am not talking about sexual conquest.
The Myth Of The Male Mid-Life Crisis
The moment I started spending a little bit of effort and time on myself I was immediately accused of having a mid-life crisis and all the associated shaming started. The aim was to shame me back into the cage I was supposed to be in and get back to the self-less work of providing for my family.
You will find that most men accused of having a mid-life crisis are around the age range of 35-40. What no one is told is that it is around this age that a man’s libido drops off and his priorities in life change A LOT. What he previously tolerated (in order to get laid) will not be tolerated know because the priority of him getting laid has gone further down the priority list.
This change in priorities may also have something to do with reaching the half-way mark of life and facing the downhill slide to death.
Unfortunately for his wife is also coincides with the time (around her age range 35-40) that she loses her fertility and becomes a lot less desirable to him anyway.
Is Your Idea Of Him Growing Up Healthy for Him?
How did you go writing out your list above and leaving it in the comments below. If you are like most wives you probably are struggling to define exactly what you call “grown up.” It is the sort of question that raises memories about your parents or other significant adults in your childhood. These types of memories are the ones that helped shape your opinions and build your paradigms as a child. They are the influencing your unhappiness know.
Unhappiness leads to criticism most of the time. I don’t know exactly why, it’s not a natural reaction. It is just the way that society leads most people. Take the time over the next months or so to really observe those people around you who are most critical and you will see they are the most unhappy, usually with themselves.
Now that you have taken stock of all your own baggage take a minute to recognize the fact that your husband has baggage from his childhood and adulthood too. You are not the one and only reason for his existence and he has a life outside of your expectations.
Do You Need to Grow Up Yourself and Stop Asking Others to Fill Your Short-comings?
For a wife to make such a statement I would hope that she is completely autonomous herself. Autonomous means that she is self-reliant.
Very few people are autonomous in society today. In fact the western society does all it can to make people into weak-minded feeble followers that can do not much more than consume, work, spend and criticize.
We all grow up and live as less than whole humans. Please do not believe that you can become a whole human being by coupling up with another less than whole human who will fill in the gaps left by your short-comings. Most of the time this scenario plays out by a woman believing that she can change a man. It may be true in the short term but it’s an impossible charade to maintain the toll will ruin both people in the relationship.
Hi there, My friends call me Remy. I am a middle aged divorcee that has decided not to walk the path other people decided to set down for me. I have gained the most strength in my life from my failures. Resilience is a very powerful attribute if you can manage it, I am still building mine up but stick with me and we can forge ahead together.