Just like everything else in life Divorce support for men is full of contradictions and propaganda.
If you are a man going through a divorce and you seek the advice of others please be aware of the wolf in sheep’s clothing.
What I want to introduce below is a philosophy that you can use to filter through the useful information from the stuff aimed at slotting you right back into the enslavement cue.
Sovereignty is the key word I want burn into your psyche.
Definition for Sovereign
The typical dictionary defines Sovereignty as: Acting or done independently and without outside interference.
Synonyms Include: independent, self-governing, autonomous, self-determining, self-legislating, non-aligned, free.
Don’t be a follower, set your target towards sovereignty.
Dramatic Paradigm shift
Like it or not if you are going through a divorce you are slap bang in the middle of one of the biggest paradigm shifts you will ever experience.
A paradigm is a wall around reality that your brain creates to make its life easier (not yours); the locations of the walls are based on previous events or someone else’s ideaology. The walls will censor out information that doesn’t fit within the favored perception.
Think of a paradigm as a set of horse blinkers blinding you to everything that is not within your existing (small) field of vision. Horses with blinkers on can’t even find their own feeding trough.
Having your walls (paradigms) broken down for you half way through your life is a gift that is better than anything else you could ever hope for. You now have all the experiences of half a lifetime without the limitations that you normally would have had. Don’t put your head back in the sand and start building your walls back up again or don’t take the wrong advice and let someone else build their walls around you.
Opportunity is knocking, what will you do
Now that you are aware of your newfound lack of limitations (aka paradigms) think of your future as an open field with no predefined pathways or destinations. Just like being a teenager all over again you have a multitude of different directions open to you but now you also have all the life experience needed to make the right choice unique to you.
There are other huge cross-roads in life that present similar paradigm shifts (such deaths; illnesses or injuries), the difference with divorce is that you will be met with the type of support that is akin to a cone of silence.
Spiritually there are no rituals or no process of closure to go (deaths have burials, illness and injuries have rehabilitation).
Practically, recovery from all those other events is finished when you get back to your original starting position and get back onto your same life path. Divorce is not that case, you can’t go back to your same life path – it has been shattered to the point of disintegration.
Awareness about the social conditioning which silently surrounds you
The things that no one will tell you is that you can still go further and breakdown even more of your paradigms.
I have spoken about social conditioning here in the context of
If you grew up in a western society you have undoubtedly been subjected to daily social conditioning from the day you were born. The objective of all this conditioning is to get you to behave the same way as everyone else (supposedly for the great good of society). You would have been convinced that success in life is measured by how much money you earn working for someone else and how good a provider you are for your mandatory wife and kids. Your personal happiness, her personal happiness or spiritual consciousness seems to be irrelevant to the measure of success.
This is obviously a very simplified version of your conditioning. Individually you would have also had the expectations thrust on you to measure up to things done by your older family members (eg follow into your family business or follow previous generations into the military). You will also have had religious beliefs and your parents’ baggage from their childhoods shaping your future.
Now is the time whilst all the defences are at the minimum to really jump in and identify those big holes in your psyche, those big assumptions and those big personality adaptions you have made subconsciously just so that you can function within that less than perfect human condition which is daily life.
I really can’t stress this point enough there is a window of opportunity here that won’t last forever. The road to recovery is the road within.
Where not to seek support?
I did all the things I was supposed to do and I slowly found that all the mainstream help out there was targeted to putting me back inside that little box of servitude.
Your children – don’t lean on your children for support. They are still being held firm inside the matrix and they need you more than you need them.
Your mother – in the vast majority of cases your mother will be hell bent on getting you recovered just for the sole purpose of getting you back into the same relationship again but with another woman.
Your doctor – again a doctors idea of success if you getting back to work, getting back into a relationship and getting back into servitude. Doctors are on the front-lines of the social conditioning efforts.
Your psychologist – same story as above but the psychologist will be manipulative enough to convince you that you are setting your own pathway. Don’t sell yourself out for a little bit of comfort.
You will need to find a man who you can look up with, usually more experienced in life, who has already found his sovereignty but also managed to keep it for the long term.
Sacrifices you will have to make in exchange for your sovereignty
A sovereign man cannot be accepted into the mainstream indoctrinated society. Too much freedom and too much risk for the sheeple will mean that you will be rejected by them.
I found that all my married friends immediately blacklisted me the minute they heard of the divorce. The justification I made in my mind was that my truth was too close to home for them, they weren’t very far off themselves and they chose the route of denial.
For whatever reason the mainstream operates within a small envelope of comfort, apathy, validation and emotional treadmills. Nothing constructive can possibly come from it and nothing constructive can possibly be accepted into it.
Dig your heels in for a fight if you have kids but don’t walk the line they want you to walk
It is all too easy to submit to the social conditioning. The courts are biased. The kids are with her. The house is hers. The child support system has me by the balls now. As a sovereign man the one thing you will learn is that they (your ex, your law, your social worker, your judge etc.) Are nothing more than sheep. As soon as you challenge anything they struggle. Their world constructed out of smoke & mirrors. It is reliant on intimidation, blind allegiance, inaction, defeat, conformance and just pure brain-dead followers to set the precedent. They are persistent and they have their numbers, the legal system, the government, the feminists and a lot of support on their side but at the end of the day you are a leader and they are followers. You can set your own pathway whereas they can’t. Enjoy your newfound freedom and take notice of every little victory along the way.
When going through this battle I asked a lot of questions which were normally met with clichéd answers such as that is just the way it is done or just because. Don’t accept this dribble especially when it comes to the child access issues.
Remember the long term goal is not just your personal sovereignty but that of your children’s too.
Hi there, My friends call me Remy. I am a middle aged divorcee that has decided not to walk the path other people decided to set down for me. I have gained the most strength in my life from my failures. Resilience is a very powerful attribute if you can manage it, I am still building mine up but stick with me and we can forge ahead together.