Welcome to another controversial post I have been working on for a long time now. The topic for today is emasculation. One of my readers asked me the question, while sharing his story of divorce destruction. Unfortunately, I hear very similar stories over and over again.
First off, I want to address that niggling little thought that will soon jump into your head.
Why should I believe you Remy? None of these things have ever happened to me Remy. I am different.
Here is the response that you need to hear: Your ego has clouded the truth from you. External influences out of your control have been working away at you for your entire life to create such a response. When was the last time that you willingly isolated yourself from all these external distractions (tv, social media, politics, radio, internet, books) and took a good hard look at YOUR personal beliefs (not just the regurgitated tripe from everyone else).
I want to introduce two concepts to set the context for this entire conversation.
Concept 1 – Gender Parity is not all it’s cracked up to be
It all started with statements like women can do anything that a man can do. A lot of crazy stuff happened but then we find ourselves in a world full of statements like
Boys need to get more in touch with their feminine sides and stop doing all the things that girls don’t like to do such as wrestling, competitive sports, jumping, running, general boy stuff.
These two concepts both overlap each other but I hope you get this concept. There has been a feminist agenda for decades now (otherwise known as political correctness) which aims to standardize behaviors, opportunities and outcomes across the two genders (and now all the other multitudes of genders that have been fabricated.
Have a good think about the consequences caused by denying thousands of years of biology, sociology and natural tendencies engrained into our DNA.
Concept 2 – The Boundaries between family, society and state have been destroyed.
The second layer of context I want us to discuss is the separation of family from society from the State (government).
Here is what my grandfather used to say on the matter (I tend to align myself with his wisdom).
“The government has no business in your family room, the local women’s rotary groups (a social group around here) also has no business in your family room. When you start extending your family structure to include every man and their dog you lose all resemblance of what makes your family personal to you and the impartiality will soon turn you into a mindless worker drone following whatever government or social issue someone else tells you is important for the day.”
Wise words but unfortunately most of the wholesome family values my grandfather cherished have been replaced with empty capitalist virtues.
Example 1. Television has replaced family conversation.
Example 2. Technology such as washing machines and vacuum cleaners coupled with social pressures such as work and childcare have replaced house wives and largely left them without their engrained sense of purpose.
Example 3. The nuclear family has for the most part been replaced with single mother families. Fathers have been isolated into an endless loop of Work to give. Give to forget and then forget to live. This loop renders most men without their engrained sense of purpose as well.
Example 4. Government control over our lives gets more and more personal each week. Believe it or not people but there was a time, long ago, when a man could speak his mind without the threat of annihilation looming larger.
There is a specific book written on this topic which has been recommended to me called THE NAKED COMMUNIST by W. Cleon Skousen. If you have read it please share your thoughts with me below, I am keen to hear your thoughts as to whether I should add it to my reading list or not.
Emasculation of boys
The abovementioned spotlight on gender parity has probably hit the boys worse than the men.
I am not going to philosophies this argument I would father just give you some concrete examples.
Example 1. Competition has been removed from a boys upbringing.
Male strengths are being squashed, competitiveness, strength, combat, physical activity are all becoming remnants of the past.
Even our urban planning and city design is reflecting this phenomenon (believe it or not but houses used to be back yards full of kids playing and streets full of kids interacting with eachother).
Example 2. Boys are taught that they are all potential predators and need to curb their masculinity to be a good person.
Advocates of domestic violence propaganda have introduced programs into schools which systemically shame boys into believing that all men are wife beaters, pedophiles or internet marketers.
They may look very vanilla on the surface but the end result isn’t. Here is one story that horrifies me. A 7-year-old boy comes home from school after a getting a solid bashing because his teachers put nail polish on him and convinced he was breaking down stereotypes by wearing nail polish.
Mixed messages get mixed reactions. Check out this video below.
Example 3. Boys are systematically isolated from all male role models.
Divorce is prevalent and most houses do not have a consistent male presence let along a male influence.
Those few houses with fathers are subject to the requirements of an industrialised society. Dad leaves the house early in the morning and doesn’t come back to late at night. It is pretty easy to marginalize a man from kids who only see him an hour or two a day.
Emasculation of Teenage Males
Example 1. Most of them only get dating advice from their mothers.
The only good dating advise you will get from a woman is how to bend over backward and accommodate every whim your date could ever dream up for you.
If you give everything away you will become a shell of a man. Do not take such advice. Put yourself first.
Example 2. Minority Control Is Used to Shame the majority (men)
Gay, Lesbian, Trans, feminists and whatever other minority groups are the flavor of the month control public narrative to their own end. Sensationalist loving journalist just lap it up for their 30 seconds of disgust but the longer term effect is that the majority of people (who don’t fit into a defined minority group) get isolated from the conversation.
Assistance for every minority group except for men
Example 3. Indoctrinated to believe that they need a good woman and a good job to be a good person.
Young men are being systemically fed the untruth that a good woman and a good job can fix every problem in the world. It is a paradigm that women so dearly cling to that they find it necessary to indoctrinate their boys with the same paradigm.
Emasculation of men during dating
Example 1. Mixed messages. No one really knows what a woman wants. Not even the women.
Quite often the feeling of helplessness is associated with a man’s dating life. How could a man ever be expected to meet such impossible expectations?
Now the paradigm that was drilled into him by his family when being raised was that he needed to find a good woman and give her everything she could ever want. How can he possible do that when the list of never ending and never consistent.
Example 2. All the Hang-ups from the past coupled with the new risks of today. No benefits.
Men are forced to take all the risks during dating. The rejection is endless (even after you get into a relationship) and men are supposed to continue ponying up to another girl, ask her out just to withstand the ridicule and cruelty without becoming jaded at all. The reality is that each bad experienced tarnish’s a man for the next experience and eventually the barriers go up for protection.
The new risks of today’s society are not just public shaming but internet shaming. Then you have the constant threat of the law stepping into your world through claims of sexual harassment or domestic violence.
The intimidation dished out by these biased laws has created a very uneasy environment where a man has to constantly walk on eggshells and still run the risk of her emotions coming back to bite him years later.
Emasculation of Married Men
If you are a married man and you are reading this be warned it is going to hurt. The general consensus from pretty much all the divorced men I speak to is that to maintain a happy marriage these days to a modern woman the husband has to accept a subservient role in the relationship and be prepared to be trodden on by now just his wife but also her entire social circle.
A man’s most basic needs are not met whilst princess screams more intensive demands down from her pedestal.
If you really need to be told these are the basic needs I speak of.
Men want to be appreciated. We are more than happy to put the work in just don’t take it for granted.
Men want their hard work to materialize into something useful.
Men want simplicity.
Men want their intimacy to be reciprocated.
Compare this to the list that your average women wants? Leave your comments below.
When a married man goes through all this and he sees that all his efforts amount to pretty much nothing in the eyes of the person he is trying to impress inevitable emasculation follows. If it doesn’t the comments from his wife incessantly berating him will do it.
Emasculation of men during divorce
Now this topic is one very close to my heart and also very close to many of my raw nerves.
There is just one topic I want to add here about the emasculation of men during divorce and it is one that I haven’t raised anywhere else. It is the silence.
When you are a man trying to deal with your divorce the silence that you are met with is often a hell of a lot harder to deal with than the break up itself.
Everyone around you see the injustice and sees the downward spiral you are taking but NO ONE (and I mean not even those close to you) tends to break the silence. When I looked into the judge’s eyes, the lawyer’s eyes, all the social workers eyes and psychiatrists etc. they all knew well and good that they were ashamed of what they were doing to me but they will never break their silence.
These people deal with their shame by externalizing it and placing it onto men’s shoulder. After all men are assumed to be the victimizers and are also strong enough to take it when no one else can.
Emasculation of retired men
Perhaps it could be argued that the hardest hit demographic of men is the retired men or those who have left the workforce.
Certain stereotypes that were created by feminists to support the agenda really hit home when a single 60-year-old man tries to venture out into public and do anything by himself.
Now the bulk of this story has been paraphrased from conversation with one of my old neighbors. He moved in next door to me after my divorce, he just got back into civilization again after 17 years on the grey nomad circuit travelling and keeping moving with the express purpose of trying to comes to terms with becoming a widow. Yes, 17 years.
He shared with me that life as a single man in his 60’s and 70’s one of constant management of false fears towards him. There is two stereotypes of men that are at play here. One is the dirty old man just trying to purve on everyone and everything and the other is the one of the male paedophile.
Unfortunately, my friend tells me that the mere image of an elderly man walking alone in a van park is enough for the worst fears created by these stereotypes to be realized more often than now.
How did this emasculate him? The shame brought on you for just being you was enough for him to retreat into his depression and become less of a man each time.
The Wrap Up.
There is still a lot to this conversation I have to leave for another day. This post has been solely focused on the realm of emotions and behavior but an even bigger realm of physical emasculation is occurring as well. Testosterone levels are plummeting. Sperm counts are plummeting. Mental health is on a collective life support. Please leave a comment below as to which topic I should tackle next and as always please share on social media or join my email list.
Until next time, good luck to you and play by your own rules.
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Hi there, My friends call me Remy. I am a middle aged divorcee that has decided not to walk the path other people decided to set down for me. I have gained the most strength in my life from my failures. Resilience is a very powerful attribute if you can manage it, I am still building mine up but stick with me and we can forge ahead together.