Author: Remy O'Ryan

Hi there, My friends call me Remy. I am a middle aged divorcee that has decided not to walk the path other people decided to set down for me. I have gained the most strength in my life from my failures. Resilience is a very powerful attribute if you can manage it, I am still building mine up but stick with me and we can forge ahead together.

Id Ego Superego definition; It’s use and analogy to explain your ego

id ego superego definition ghost

Hello. I want to introduce to you a concept that Sigmund Freud used to explain among plenty of other things Narcissistic ideals. Here I aim to give you the id, ego, superego definition but also the premise to how useful it can be to help you achieve your autonomy. First up let me say that some part of this concept are very detailed and I don’t claim to be an expert. I plan to limit the level to detail to that which is useful to someone reading about it for the first time and wanting to use it as a catalyst for internal growth. This is not intended to substitute for a psychology lecture. Next I want to congratulate you for pursuing internal growth. We live in a culture that is extremely focused on creating distractions for you. Sometimes unplugging from the distractions and a few internal reflections work wonders. […]

Who is Mike Pence; Rules that stretch beyond the political collective?

who is mike pence rules that stretch beyond

So recently I was watching YouTube with my kids when the channel they were watching (which is a Fortnite online gaming channel) was talking about the Mike Pence Rules. I asked Who is Mike Pence? No one knew but the moral behind the conversation was interesting. This YouTuber (a married man, very popular with millions of subscribers) had elected to make his channel hosts and on-screen people all male. He will not live stream alongside women. He had jumped onto the Mike Pence bandwagon. Naturally I had to know more and did my research, here is what I found out. The rules themselves go something like this Man in power at work will not meet with a female one-on-one either in a work environment (office) or in a work social event (lunch/dinner). This includes mentoring relationships, work meetings, discussions etc. Of course the short term ramifications are a woman’s ability […]

Building Self Esteem Back Up To Normal Levels- Several Ideas

building self esteem

When I started this site it was all about divorce recovery but it has grown into so much more than that. Building self-esteem back up again is a key part of divorce recovery but it is also a very important part of every ones life at some point or another. Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t all wait for a crisis to work on our inner health. What is Self esteem I don’t buy into most of the psychology of clinical terminology you may see elsewhere. I much prefer to keep things very simple and re-frame everything into something that a two-year old would understand. For me, self-esteem is simply that overall feeling of good or bad to get about yourself. It is not tied to any actions, it is not tied to any events or external things at it. It is what is left over, the opinion of […]

How To Live With A Narcissist & How to Turn Things Around

live with narcissist

Following on from my very popular post about marriage to a covert narcissist our conversation now migrates to the topic of “How to live with a narcissist.” I am trying to make this post a big more action focused. First up the terminology: you won’t find the word victim here, it has far too many negatives – I am going to use the word target instead. I would encourage you to also start shifting your focus in such a small way – the language you use will steer the pattern of thinking that follows. The Aim: regardless of your situation and how well versed you are in this context I want you to implement one thing for me please. Be original. Do not generically swap out one problem for another. Tackle your own problem at its source – You. Trying to control a narcissist or change his/her behavior is a […]

Forgotten Victims & Parental Alienation Syndrome?

parental alienation

Howdy. My kids have been showing signs of parental alienation syndrome since way back before I split up with my ex. She was distorting their minds years before the split but now that the divorce is over and now that the kids are old enough to see things for themselves what effect has it all had on them? Join me for a quick delve into another topic which “they” don’t want you to talk about or think about. Important note: I am not a medical practitioner. If you believe you or your kids need psychiatric help don’t hesitate, see your GP and share your pain. Do not waste a minute worrying about the reactions of others.   What is Parental Alienation syndrome in kids? Here is a quote from Wikipedia that I believe sets the correct context for my post. So the key thing to remember now is the PAS […]

FAQ: Define Solipsism? Give Examples and Context

define solipsism

As my site gets older and you guys and gals leave more comments I am getting multiple queries to define solipsism, narcissism, munchausens and other similar terms. These terms which largely relate to personality disorders keep on popping up over and over again; particularly when you are discussing your ex-partners. With all the readily available information on the internet and also with the increased sophistication of the self-help fields I see conversations are becoming more and more intertwined with clinical terms that can cause confusion. Firstly, I want to say that I am not a health care professional – if you need medical help or someone that you know needs medical help then your best bet is to see your GP to discuss a recommendation to see a specialist.   My Definition for Solipsism Solipsism is a personality disorder. A solipsist will whol-heartedly believe that they are the center of […]